...a long time coming

i want to say that it was time that kept me from writing and putting things down into the blogosphere and because of this "time" i knew that when i did start to write again that my first post would have to be immensly profound and substantial. but here i am doing the exact opposite, flying off the cuff with a few thoughts. not having blogged in almost two years leaves me with so much to say that i will probably make several more posts before the month is through. a lot has gone on and im sure a lot more will go on but i know that above all of that "I" will go on.

its comforting to know that there are still good genuine people out there. growing and learning more about the world we live in each day has given me the perspective of someone who was cut from a good cloth and through the trials and tribulations of poor decision making and living life i am at a point where i feel like its time for me to enact real change. both in my own life and in the lives of the people who i care for.

now i have some bad habits that i need to break but when i sit and think about these "bad" habits i cant help but wonder what really makes them bad? is it that they are bad for me or that they prevent me from living the type of life i know i can. i feel that some of these habits keep me grounded while at other times i feel they do the opposite, they create an excuse for me to vacate and abandon my resposibilities but im trying.

im growing and im living every single day

i hope you are too...

day1ne is coming

inspiration comes in many forms and in a blur of haze i've embraced some much needed inspiration. i am learning to let it take me without thinking, without trying to make sense of it and to let it carry all of me with it. taking time to get to know yourself can be the most satisfying experience of your life to date. but you have to pull it close.
happiness is a bitch, when you need her she's never around and when you least expect her and you've accepted the fact that you will be ok without her, she grabs you by the balls and engulfs you. and you fall apart in her arms,
Pathetic!
"wake up! she's using you"
but you hear nothing. blind to all that is around you...



...and we begin the prequel to a beautiful tragedy.

or perhaps things are different. perhaps this is the beginning of the rest of your life. maybe you've bumped your head and some sense miraculously fell into the cracks.

some time to relax, rethink and reflect

a double of a single malt and i'll tip any bartender no matter what the genus. mikey seen here is the better half of jen from the alibi. looking at those eyes glare at my left-over tamale from 'rice', i sit and wonder what my patrons think when sitting on this side of my bar.
do they think of me as i think of mikey salavating over what lurks in my pocket or are they as genuine as i am in asking "hey ferd, whats the word?" as i pour his daily screwdriver? are they just there for the 2 for 1 specials, $4 martinis, margaritas or simply the company as i often am? such thoughts make me cherish my years spent tending the bar. its often at these difficult economic times that i am thankful to have a recession-proof job and loyal, local and most importantly loving patrons. patrons who will tell me their issues and listen to my perspective as well as hear me rant over cheap customers and the daily bull that comes with the job much like marco. i feel at ease knowing that the good will return and the bad will return less frequently. having an understanding employer works both ways sometimes. its understood that i can be late sometimes as my bar isn't stocked at all times. something may be sticky when we open up but then again my tip-out may share the same residue. give and take is the nature of work and i have learned to accept and love it. it may not be for everyone but for someone out there its comforting to know of a place where everybody knows your name.....and they're always glad you came.

"cheers"

...as i ponder

great things happen in three's right? at least that's what i've heard. maybe its nonsense but if another good thing happens this week it'll be without a doubt. two new job offers from companies that i thought forgot about me or had chosen someone else. but which do i choose? the definite? or do i risk losing the former to stall for the one that is more prestigious and appealing? ah....so much to consider. but in tough economic times i have to be tactful in my approach hence most working adults can only hope to be lucky enough to choose. so i count my blessings and urge you all to do the same, for things will get much worse before they get any better.
as i ponder thoughts of settling, it bothers me. its quite disturbing to think that my life at this point is about settling. throughout college i yearned for stability and now that its at my doorstep i cant keep from letting the bell ring over and over again. can i wait a few more minutes hoping that it wont leave? i really don't have a clue. logic sways me one way and desire, will and dreams pull me back to my normal self. perhaps it's that this "self" has changed without my knowledge or consent? how dare it!?! the audacity, the nerve of my subconscious to go off and grow up without me. i sit here determined to put the pieces together and as i sift through the failures, the accolades and the pocket lint it becomes alarmingly clear that i have to stop making this into a lifelong debate. after all i am still of youthful age and health. what says i cant go out on a limb later on, maybe a year from now when my rent is paid, savings are growing and my credit gets some much needed stitches. why hasn't someone slapped me with this common sense earlier.....? thanks for the support world! but more than that thank you very much for listening...

brock oblama!

i didnt get a chance to make it to d.c. but i did have a good time here in brooklyn. keeping it local during events like this can be one of two things. it can be great to be around friends and people like you with a common interest or it can be very boring and the whole time you're thinking about how you missed the boat. my experience was obviously the former and it feels good to be greatful that i had a chance to experience history even though i witnessed it via cnn.

madiba was packed all day and since i dont like standing crowds and i couldn't find a seat i took off to red bamboo. the rum punch was weak but only 5 bux and the fact that they carry duvel was nice to know. not too busy in there and now that i think about it i never did get that $10 coupon that they promised on the door for my next visit.

afterwards it was off to the alibi but i did have to stop back at the brooklyn moon to pick up my zune. cheap drinks and good people. it wasn't too busy because they had just opened. with the whole of dekalb having drink specials and sales the alibi posted an obama sign with a special for stella drafts for $4. this would be a good deal if stella wasn't $4 at the alibi anyway!

one double jameson later i took it home to fix some food. took a quick cat nap and popped right back up, changed my tie and headed right back to the batcave (alibi) to meet a friend. ended up at kif for a bottle of syrah and pita bread. wanted more but the kitchen had run out of everything else! wtf! we got the check and after a bottle of wine and 2 orders of pita bread the bill came to $19!!! i assumed a mistake had taken place but my company thought it best not to draw attention to it, as our server was quite busy ;). i spun it back to the alibi for two more double jamesons and my night was sealed.

a good night with with friends is all you need in times like this.

more thoughts

1. what's with gay men and not respecting the answer NO! when you try to be respectful mofos wanna push the envelope. i suppose i just have to be the typical angry black man.

2. why must we put labels on things, why not just let things happen and fall into place on their own.

3. why do people walk into a crowded restaurant and ask the bartender...."are you open?" im the type of dude to say "nope...we just closed up, sorry"

4. ok, now its freezing outside, if you dont know if you're comming inside why must you hold open the door until you decide? these are the same people who come in and complain about it being cold.

5. why are the fine ones so fucking psycho?

6. why can't i finish blogging?

and i'm out...

ars gratia artis

its refreshing to find a place in this city where the cover is just as cheap as the drinks and the venue is great as well. libation was fun, i had a good time and shall return, although it was not my first time there. i hadn't been in quite a while but then again the first trip i took there is a little fuzzy.

blockbuster has been my sole means of purchasing dvds. they sell the previously viewed ones for dirt cheap. they have some for 2 for 20, 3 for 20 and 4 for 20. the 2 for 20 obviously showcases the most popular but the latter has just as juicy a selection. i happened to picked up a very interesting and entertaining film today (4 for 20 deal) by the name of "otis" i comedic thriller about a psychotic killer who happens to pick the wrong victim to fuck with. very original and fun to watch. reminded me of the type of humor seen in "juno" but a bit morbid and cruel.

with film on the mind here are a few that you must see

1. taken - saw this back in october, great action

2. otis - nuff said

3. pan's labyrinth - suggested by a friend, i loved it. violently shocking!

4. mr. brooks - a must see for everyone! oscar worthy perferomance by kevin kosner

5. the bank job - a true story and a great depiction of it

6. we own the night - jaquin pheonix is superb

7. old boy - great japanese film about a man who is kidnapped and jailed for 15 years only to be released with loads of cash

8. the escapist - takes the prison break movie to another level

9. revolver - guy richie's unheard brilliance, andre 300 does well, ray liotta too!

10. city of ember - great film about an underground city that has no knowledge that there is a planet on the surface.

11. defiance - daniel craig is great

12. the kite runner - sad story but a great experience

for now

some interesting literature was suggested to me and has got me thinking about a lot of things. the capitulation of cornwallis, excerpts from the journal of christopher columbus and de aeternitate mundi (on the eternity of the world) by thomas aquinas.
very heavy stuff indeed! extremely interesting and often times comical, columbus' diary is just the thing to keep you glued to the page. the fifteenth century was fucked up yo!

anyway....here are some more thoughts, so dive right in to all that is me

1. did bush really say "...okay so maybe not finding weapons of mass destruction made it a bad idea"....wtf!

2. baRack em willie is a coon and shame those who exploit his ignorance.

3. wizards never die......its true, youtube it!

4. steelers and cardinals....im tellin you!

5. do you know the actual "rule of thumb?" look it up its kinda shocking!