Thursday, January 22, 2009

...as i ponder

great things happen in three's right? at least that's what i've heard. maybe its nonsense but if another good thing happens this week it'll be without a doubt. two new job offers from companies that i thought forgot about me or had chosen someone else. but which do i choose? the definite? or do i risk losing the former to stall for the one that is more prestigious and appealing? ah....so much to consider. but in tough economic times i have to be tactful in my approach hence most working adults can only hope to be lucky enough to choose. so i count my blessings and urge you all to do the same, for things will get much worse before they get any better.
as i ponder thoughts of settling, it bothers me. its quite disturbing to think that my life at this point is about settling. throughout college i yearned for stability and now that its at my doorstep i cant keep from letting the bell ring over and over again. can i wait a few more minutes hoping that it wont leave? i really don't have a clue. logic sways me one way and desire, will and dreams pull me back to my normal self. perhaps it's that this "self" has changed without my knowledge or consent? how dare it!?! the audacity, the nerve of my subconscious to go off and grow up without me. i sit here determined to put the pieces together and as i sift through the failures, the accolades and the pocket lint it becomes alarmingly clear that i have to stop making this into a lifelong debate. after all i am still of youthful age and health. what says i cant go out on a limb later on, maybe a year from now when my rent is paid, savings are growing and my credit gets some much needed stitches. why hasn't someone slapped me with this common sense earlier.....? thanks for the support world! but more than that thank you very much for listening...

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